E: YOU BROKE THE FIRST RULE. QUESTION: WHAT MUSIC ARE YOU LISTENING TO? WHAT SOUNDS DO YOU HEAR?
AD: HI, I'M LISTENING
E: TO WHAT
AD: ...TO THE NEW SUPER DELUXE EDITION OF STONE TEMPLE PILOTS' PURPLE
E: THAT SEEMS COOL. I WAS LISTENING TO THE
SLUDGE THEME SONG ON REPEAT LIKE A LUNATIC. OKAY, NOT REALLY, I'M LISTENING TO HOLE.
E: WHAT'S IT LIKE HAVING A GIRLFRIEND?
AD: IT'S PRETTY HOT. IT'S GREAT HAVING A HOT GIRLFRIEND AND ALSO BEING ATTRACTIVE YOURSELF.
E: YEAH, I THINK ATTRACTIVE COUPLES ARE THE HOTTEST. DO UGLY COUPLES NOT EXIST OR DO WE JUST PRETEND THEY DON'T EXIST, LET THEM FADE INTO THE WALLPAPER? THIS IS NOT A PHILOSOPHICAL QUESTION.
AD: I THINK WE JUST FOCUS ON ATTRACTIVE PEOPLE MORE.
E: I READ THIS THING ABOUT HOW PEOPLE WITH BABY FACES (LIKE ME, MY BEAUTIFUL FACE) GET AWAY WITH MORE THAN PEOPLE WITH VILLAINOUS ANGULAR FACES. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THAT?
AD: WELL AS SOMEONE WHO HAS LOOKED 40 SINCE HE WAS 18 I GET AWAY WITH QUITE A BIT. THAT RUINS THE THESIS.
E: I LIKE THAT, BECAUSE I LEARNED FROM THAT FUCKING SNAPCHAT.
E: SO, ANTHONY. REMEMBER THAT TIME I SCARED YOU BY ASKING IF I COULD ASK YOU A PERSONAL QUESTION, BUT THEN I JUST ASKED YOU WHAT FLAVOR PROTEIN SHAKE YOU HAD?
AD: THAT IS A VERY PERSONAL QUESTION.
E: I DIG DEEP.
AD: I AM OFTEN IN A STATE OF FEAR WHEN I SEE I HAVE A DM IF I AM BEING HONEST.
E: OH GOD THEY'RE TERRIFYING. I HAVE NO IDEA WHY I TORTURE YOU WITH THEM. EXCEPT FOR THE OBVIOUS THING OF EXCHANGING WRESTLING VIDEOS.
E: HOW MANY ARE YOU IGNORING? WAIT, DON'T THINK ABOUT THAT, THAT'S TERRIFYING. WE BOTH HAVE ANXIETY ISSUES.
E: I REALLY LIKE THAT THING IN SLUDGE ABOUT THAT FAT GUY IN NYC. I REMEMBER IN SF THERE WERE NO FAT PEOPLE EXCEPT TOURISTS. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN FAT?
AD: I WAS BORN FAT. MY FATTEST WAS MY BIRTH. THEN I STRETCHED OUT OVER THE COURSE OF 30 YEARS.
E: I, TOO, WAS A FAT BABY. I LOOKED LIKE WORE MATTRESSES.
E: ANTHONY, DO YOU THINK YOUR ANXIETY PROBLEMS OR WHATEVER IDK I DON'T THINK ANYTHING IS THAT WRONG WITH YOU OR WHATEVER, DO YOU THINK THE FACT THAT YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY INSANE MAKES YOU A BETTER WRITER?
AD: I'M REALLY NOT THAT FUCKED UP OR CRAZY. JUST NEUROTIC BUT I GET BY. BUT YES I THINK BEING WAY TOO SELF CONSCIOUS PLAYS A BIG PART IN MY WRITING.
E: WHAT'S THE MOST BLARINGLY LOUD EXAMPLE OF YOU BEING SELF CONSCIOUS? IN THE PAST, I MEAN.
AD: WHEN I WAS A CHILD I USED TO CROSS THE STREET IF I SAW SOMEONE WALKING TOWARDS ME CAUSE I WAS SO SHY AND COULDN'T STAND BEING LOOKED AT.
E: THIS IS BECAUSE YOU'RE HOT AND YOU KNEW THEY SHOULDN'T GET THAT PRIVILEGE.
AD: I DON'T THINK WE SHOULD TALK ABOUT ME BEING A HOT CHILD.
E: OH MY GOD NO. I WAS JUST IMAGINING YOUR HEAD ON A CHILD'S BODY. FML.
E: THIS INTERVIEW IS OVER NOW.
AD: THANKS FOR HAVING ME THIS HAS BEEN ILLUMINATING.
E: WILL YOU POST IT ON NEUTRAL SPACES? I DON'T HAVE A FUCKING BLOG CODE. OR SHOULD IT JUST DIE.
AD: MAYBE THROW IT ON DREAMCORE. MAKE A
BACKGROUND FOR IT.
E: MAYBE. (DEFINITELY) THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ANY LAST WORDS BEFORE.. YOU LEAVE THIS RISEUP PAD? AMDIP?
AD: I HOPE I AM REMEMBERED AS A HOT CHILD.
